_

sitting still and incomplete, i try to fill up all my desperate need.
breathing and reaching and crying for more, slipping and sleeping and shrinking to the floor.
staking my claims, though they are not mine, closing my mouth on every line.
drinking and smoking and wanting to die, nothing will fill the crevice in which you lie.
mother, father, brother and friend- you've replaced all and then: seeking and carving and trying so hard, i seek nothing of what was but only you.


0.

Sometimes I feel as if I'm not near good enough, pretty enough, whole enough. I don't have enough warmth in me to survive in this, but with yours pulsing too; I'm positive it will all be okay.