funny how the tiniest dilemmas have the ability to drag you so far down.
one small trip and your entire moods changed, a bit of a masfunction and you want out again.
one day i plan on finding a way to change this instability, because i suppose thats what some would call such nonsense, but this just shows me im still as petulant as ever.

red roses cover my dreams, the thorns nailing them to the wall- immobile.
countless changing and moving, until the entire world seems so slow,
i feel every drip of serenity leaving me, abandoning me into the cold- or maybe the heat.
restlessness creeps into my bones making me empty and heartless, driving me to say
and do things i can not mean, do not mean, but always mean at the time.
i hear footsteps, coming through the house and i snap and scream and yell until all is quiet again,
because the only real peace is in the silence.
i am the queen, i am the real live queen.

that wasnt supposed to be that way but my thoughts are so mixed and i dont want to delete it do to some parts i could mend and twist.

fuck.