morning warmth.

I finally feel as if I have a purpose, a reason to wake up in the morning.

I feel alive, I feel emotion, I feel stable.

but every good has its bad, and at the end of the day, restlessness can not be avoided.
it seems once im left alone- to ponder, to sit, to avoid pondering, to focus on music, to focus too much, to ponder, to sit, to eat, to stare, to ponder, to text mason and not recieve replies because hes busy, to read lyrics, to write, to paint my nails, to sit, to ponder, to sit, to ponder, to do nothing and be trapped inside due to the cold: this is when the core of me comes. starting off as just restlessness, causing me to wonder what i should do, causing me to find something to due, causing me to become, well, instable.

or maybe i just have a strong habit of jinxing all my good days and dragging myself down.