dressing myself?

"Does he kiss your eyelids in the morning
When you start to raise your head?
And does he sing to you incessantly
From the space between your bed and wall?
Does he walk around all day at school
With his feet inside your shoes
Looking down every few steps
To pretend he walks with you?

Oh, does he know that place below your neck
That's your favorite to be touched?
And does he cry through broken sentences
Like, "I love you far too much"?

Does he lay awake listening to your breath
Worried you smoke too many cigarettes?
Is he coughing now on a bathroom floor?
For every speck of tile there's a thousand more
You wont ever see, but must hold inside yourself
Eternally

Well, I drug your ghost across the country
And we plotted out my death
In every city, memories would whisper
"Here is where you rest..."
I was determined in Chicago
But I dug my teeth into my knees
And I settled for a telephone
Sang into your machine:
"You are my sunshine
My only sunshine
You are my sunshine
My only sunshine,"

And I kissed a girl with a broken jaw
That her father gave to her
She had eyes bright enough to burn me
They reminded me of yours

And in a story told, she was a little girl
In a red-rouge, sun-bruised field
And there were rows of ripe tomatoes
Where a secret was concealed
And it rose like thunder
Clapped under our hands
And it stretched for centuries
To a diary entry's end
Where I wrote:
"You make me happy, ah
When skies are gray
You make me happy, ah
Oh, when skies are gray
They're gray and gray,"

Well, the clocks heart, it hangs inside its open chest
With its hands stretched towards
The calendar hanging itself
But I will not weep for those dying days
For all the ones who left, there's a few that stayed
And they found me here
And pulled me from the grass
Where I was laid... "
brighteyes.


i'm an ill humored girl with a real square face. i've got small eyes and an even smaller amount of gratitude. it doesn't seem to be true that my good days make up for the bad, nor that my personailty makes up for my looks. he doesn't say so, but i know so- he doesnt agree, but i know whats under everyones surface. maybe none of it's true, maybe i've no confidence and that makes all these thoughts in my mind. maybe i'm not good enough, but shouldn't it matter that he thinks so? but does he?
i'm really just not worth it anymore. nothing makes up for anything, i'm just a waste.