nothing- nor numbers.

i want to be different. i wish i could be.

i've been discovering things about myself everyday for the past few years, before that i was wandering endlessly through an empty shuttle destined to drift into a blackened warp hole, so i suppose this is good. to be honest? i'd rather have kept drifting. and landed somewhere spontaneous, where i could change.

i doubt i will ever write in this again.

i want to sleep for a while, just a long while. not forever, and i don't want to die. i never wanted to die. just, i'm really, really tired of everyday leading to another day. stop. it's only the week days. it's only when i'm here. it's only when i'm alone, but i can't go out there with them. withdrawing again, oh well.

i can't stand it here, the week holds nothing for me. i wish they would let me go. i wish i could be courageous enough to go. i wish i could stop wishing and do something for once. i wish the only thing i can do wouldnt be so final. i wish they would leave me alone. i wish i could see them everyday. i wish i could move back to mandeville. i wish i could sing, and write. i wish i could say what i want to say. i wish silence would overcome the noise, and that for once everyone would just sit still.