it's cold

from my view at the bottom of the bath tub, i'm staring at the sunrise; lightening blue. nothings the same when your looking upwards out of a window.

on the occasion i catch myself in the light, captured glowing for once. i thought you were vanishing, but really you transformed into an astronaut. astronauts are gone for quite a long time. years and years, i think it would be really nice if you could just stay here for a while. just a little while. do you think so? i don't think you do. that's okay, i know what i want, and that's what matters now.

but not really, this is a lie. all of it. except maybe the top. i don't know what i'm doing. i don't know how to do it. i don't know.

i wish>i want