all my friends are vampires-

it's funny, and yet strange. just the other day i was talking to a friend of mine;
"i'm so sick of being depressed, i'm finished with it. i've wasted so many years under it." i stated, and i was so sure i could come out on top. that i could overcome the emotion if i just vowed i would. i know it's not like that, i knew that then, but i was feeling good that day and i thought it might stay. i always think it might stay.
like right now, i just had a really nice day. i was awake, and energetic: i talked and made people laugh. the thought that maybe my prozac is starting to work even popped in my head. yet i know, it won't last, but it's so odd to think my emotions will change from this contentment. i can even now feel my eyelids getting heavy, my neck yearning for my head to be at rest. i can sense the coming foreshadow of hopelessness. preventing it isn't the answer, nor acceptance, a mere word from you would suffice. it's not nine yet.
i want to hear your voice in my head. i want you to clean our hands and put it all to bed. i want to sleep and awaken above your feet, fingers clutching fast to hearts and laughs. i can't help myself of thinking too much of the situation, but it's better than doubting all that isn't said. you're too much for me to try to hold, i'm trying but i don't trust you with love- nor my sleep.
in all honesty, i don't want to be left alone, please~ but i'm just so tired.
i'll give my brain a reward. i was so happy today, it deserves some rest.

it's a compromise of sorts.